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Under and Simon fails again, er, here is Gervaise, and Simon is Here's Nigel, he's tripped, Nigel has tripped, and he's Here we go again and Simon's fallenīackwards. Simon's got to get under this bar and this is extremely difficultĪs it requires absolutely expert co-ordination between mind andīody. (the twits each have several goes at getting under a bar of The waiter, and he is heaping abuse on him, and he is humiliating What a great twit! And now here comes Vivian, Vivian to insult (Simon runs past a waiter standing with a tray) Gervaise, oh no this is,Įr, out in the front there is Simon who is supposed to insult the He's going through and here comes Gervaise. I can see, who is that there, yes that's Nigel, Nigel has woken the And the crowd are rising to him there, and there Is he going to make it to the table, no I don't think That's Gervaise going through there, and here, here comes Oliver,īrave Oliver. There we are back at the Hunt Ball, I think that's Gervaise there, Here comes Vivian, Vivian to slam the door, and There, he's woken him upĪnd Simon's through. He's getting absolutely no reaction at all. Simon right in the lead, comfortably in the lead, but he can't (a man in bed in the middle of the pitch twit slams car door Got the old woman, slowly but surely right in the midriff, and here Vivian I think, no Vivian's lost his keys, no there's Vivian, he's Going to accelerate forward there to wake up the neighbor. Into the old woman, he's caught her absolutely beautifully. (shot of twit in a sports car reversing into cut-out of oldĪnd there's, there's Simon now in the sports car, he's reversed Go into films, and Vivian's through there and, er, Nigel's thereĮnjoying a joke with Lady Sarah Pencil Farthing Vivian StreamrollerĪdams Pie Biscuit Aftershave Gore Stringbottom Smith. He's going to enjoy a joke with Lady Arabella Plunkett. Now here's the Hunt Ball Photograph and the first here's Simon, (the twits approach a table with two attractive girls and a Gervaise is there and Oliver's still at the back having trouble with
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Move on now, he can move on to the Hunt Photograph. Oh there's GervaiseĪnd he's putting the boot in there and he's got the beggar downĪnd the steward's giving him a little bit of advice, yes, he can No, no, bad luck, he's up, he doesn't know when he's beaten, thisīoy, he doesn't know when he's winning either. Little trouble with his old brain injury, he's going to have a go, (Oliver is still trying to jump the matchboxes) Nigel 3, Gervaise on 4 and Oliver bringing up the rear. Piledriver, a real piledriver, and now Simon's on No. Vivian is there and waiting for a chance. Hard, but he's going down and Simon can move on. Simon's there and he's putting the boot in, and not terribly (the twits are kicking a beggar with a vending tray) Is it, no he's jumped the wrong way, there he goes, Nigel's over,īeautifully. and now Gervaise is over he's,Įr, Nigel is over, and it's Gervaise, Gervaise is going to jump it, and Simon's over and Vivian's overīeautifully, oh and the jump of a lifetime - if only his fatherĬould understand. Simon and Vivian at the front coming to the matchbox jump. (the twits approach a line of matchboxes piled three high) Three, I'm sorry,Īnd on the outside there's Gervaise coming through just out of shot Quite fast on the outside, I think Simon and Nigel, both of themĬoming through very fast. They've got to walk along this straight line without failing overĪnd Oliver's over at the back there, er, Simon's coming through (the twits make their way erratically along five white lines)
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John-Mollusc running a bit wide there and now they're coming into Oh, and they're off and it's a fast start this year. (starter fires gun again the twits move off erratically) I think Nigel and Gervaise have got the idea. Never mind, we'll soon sort that out, the judge is explaining
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No they didn't realize they were supposed to (the starter fires the gun nobody moves)Īh no, they're not. Now they're moving up to the starting line, St John-Mollusc, Harrow and the Guards, thought by many to be this Gervaise Brook-Hampster is in the Guards,Īnd his father uses him as a wastepaper basket. Nigel Incubator-Jones, his best friend is a tree, and in his spare Simon-Zinc-Trumpet-Harris, married to a very attractive table lamp. Vivian Smith-Smythe-Smith has an O-level in chemo-hygiene. Well the competitors will be off in a moment so let Well it certainly looks as though we're in forĪ splendid afternoon's sport in this the 127th Upperclass Twit of Winter's afternoon here, with the going firm underfoot and very You join us justĪs the competitors are running out onto the field on this lovely Good afternoon and welcome to Hurlingham Park. Scene: Sporting Field, in particular a running track. Monty Python Scripts Upperclass Twit of the Year The cast: COMMENTATOR John Cleese The sketch: Sound Files Holy Grail Scripts Meaning of Life Life of Brian Silly Links ☰